I did not get up to much yesterday. There are days reserved for relaxing, but this one wasn't exactly one for that purpose; it was just me being lazy. I stayed home and did what people essentially would call 'nothing': ate some, slept some and allowed myself to indulge in laziness. I woke up this morning with that nagging feeling you get when you know the time could have been better spent but, alas, wasn't.
I thought about yesterday whilst on my way back home this evening. All that time spent on nothing. But perhaps 'nothing' is too extreme of a word; at least I was existing. One curious thought led to another and I ended up asking myself how many days do I have anyways?
Around 30,000 days, on average*.
That figure struck me. I knew that life was short, but I have never quantified it like this before.
I started seeing 'life' through numbers, and doing so made it seem even shorter. You can think about the days you have lived as a fraction of what we would live on average (30,000 days) or count the days you have left by subtracting from the figure. (To give you an idea, you've lived over 10,000 days by the time you are 28). Simple arithmetic but complex implications.
I probably will have tens of thousands to go, but what was less re-assuring was how quickly a time goes by (even when you're not having fun!). Also, consider the fact that roughly one third of our life is spent sleeping. And how many hours do we spend doing simple tasks such as traveling, eating and drinking, grocery shopping and being lazy? Many people probably start to be really capable of taking their lives into their own hands when they are in their 20s, but by that time they've already spent a quarter of their lifetime. Moreover, talk to many older people and they mention with nostalgia the flame of youth and how quickly it goes by; it should be noted that old age can limit what you can do and therefore there is a 'zone' where you are most capable in your life. The figure of 30,000 thus diminishes.
These numbers itself do not provide a meaning to my days. Knowing how much time there is left does not provide a purpose or guidance as to how such days should be lived. Nevertheless it makes my days more meaningful, or perhaps we should say something like 'precious' to avoid confusing the paradox.
I don't regret doing nothing yesterday, but for sure I'll try live my future and remaining days with greater zeal. Or at least I know I'll be waking up early tomorrow morning to do something.
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*Assuming you live to 80 years of age; 365 multiplied by 80 gives you 29,200 days.
